I was in the locker room at work putting something away. Then I was getting on a bus in Castlefield and towo guys said "Like your t-shirt, you look like a hairy biker". It was something to do with the pictures on my work shirt. I couldn't think of anything to say so I put on a Geordie accent and said "I'm a skinny version of a hairy biker, I can't put an ounce of fat on". And they laughed then a few minutes later he was speaking to his friend in a Geordie accent and I thought he was Geordie but he wasn't. Then he said 'you're Jason Little aren't you' and I said yes. And he said 'you have so many different things on your facebook' and I asked him how he had seen it and he couldn't come up with an excuse. Then he said he was somebody's brother who was in the year below me at school. I barely knew the guy he was talking about so found it weird that either of them would have seen my profile.
The guy was the guy in the year below me with curtains who people liked but was kind of annoying with curtains haircut.
15.6.12
14.6.12
Lucian Freud Water Ride
I was about to watch the Drums perform in a tiny rehearsal room when all of a sudden I was in a theme park with my Aunt Sue and cousin Antwon.
We had to choose a float for the water ride, there were cars and other things you could take to go around the ride in. I thought my Aunt was getting one for me and my cousin but we turned around and only she was in one.
My cousin was having difficulty swimming as my Aunt got further ahead in the water ride. I could see my cousin holding on to the side as the water rushed past. I swam over to him and we could see the next part of the ride the water was going up hill. Our heads went under water and we could see a tunnel and he said he was going to go through and that his Mum had said she would tell him when he could go back to the surface again. He went first and when I went under he had gone.
I swam through the tunnel when I realised, -lit only by the faint daylight at the beginning of the tunnel- that there were lines of obese women stood along both sides of the tunnel, all naked with their eyes closed. They seemed dead but I wasn't spooked by them. I thought they were people doing that as part of the ride, just enjoying the current of the water rush past them.
They looked like that Lucian Freud painting of the obese lady. Maybe he did more than one, I'm not sure.
After I had gotten out of the water. I seemed to be stood back in the band rehearsal room. It was dark with the same faint, watery, dark daylight as in the tunnel. I looked up and saw Colin Firth's character, George, from A Single Man. He was stood staring ahead deep in thought. His suit was as it was in the film, but his shirt collar was a shiny mirrorball style mosaic.
Unfortunately my alarm went off at this point so I'll never know if I spoke to George. Unless we meet again sometime.
We had to choose a float for the water ride, there were cars and other things you could take to go around the ride in. I thought my Aunt was getting one for me and my cousin but we turned around and only she was in one.
My cousin was having difficulty swimming as my Aunt got further ahead in the water ride. I could see my cousin holding on to the side as the water rushed past. I swam over to him and we could see the next part of the ride the water was going up hill. Our heads went under water and we could see a tunnel and he said he was going to go through and that his Mum had said she would tell him when he could go back to the surface again. He went first and when I went under he had gone.
I swam through the tunnel when I realised, -lit only by the faint daylight at the beginning of the tunnel- that there were lines of obese women stood along both sides of the tunnel, all naked with their eyes closed. They seemed dead but I wasn't spooked by them. I thought they were people doing that as part of the ride, just enjoying the current of the water rush past them.
They looked like that Lucian Freud painting of the obese lady. Maybe he did more than one, I'm not sure.
After I had gotten out of the water. I seemed to be stood back in the band rehearsal room. It was dark with the same faint, watery, dark daylight as in the tunnel. I looked up and saw Colin Firth's character, George, from A Single Man. He was stood staring ahead deep in thought. His suit was as it was in the film, but his shirt collar was a shiny mirrorball style mosaic.
Unfortunately my alarm went off at this point so I'll never know if I spoke to George. Unless we meet again sometime.
One Night Only
I was watching bands perform in a small room. It seemed to be a kind of rehearsal. To begin with I was sat at the front left of the stage taking photos and then two ladies showed their breasts, (a bit like Madonna did in Turkey recently). One of them seemed to have fake breasts and her left nipple was on the side of the breast. They went around the room and I looked to the stage to see who was on next.
On the sofa I was sat on I saw some kind of small waistcoat which I knew was famous in some way. I put it on and started walking aroiund and everyone thought it was hilarious. I started walking with my feet two steps ahead of my body like a model, then I realised why they thought it was funny - because it was Lady Gaga's waistcoat. So I sat down like I was being interviewed and someone asked me a question and in her voice I said 'it's so boring' perfectly and everyone roared with laughter. I put the waistcoat back and sat in the back corner of the room with David to my left.
I looked on the stage and realised Marcus John from primary school had grown up to have a long pony tail and play drums. (I saw him in Tesco this week). The band he was in was very weird. The keyboard would play random sounds, then cut to the drums and Marcus would make huge arm motions but only hit the drums a tiny bit so that it was really quiet. I turned to David and copied Marcus' drumming motions and he agreed it was weird.
Then Jonathan Ross walked onto the stage where the Drums band now stood. There seemed to be added members to the Drums. Jonny and another guy were wearing his trademark red shiny jacket, as well as David beside me. The band were about to start performing when all of a sudden I was at a theme park...
On the sofa I was sat on I saw some kind of small waistcoat which I knew was famous in some way. I put it on and started walking aroiund and everyone thought it was hilarious. I started walking with my feet two steps ahead of my body like a model, then I realised why they thought it was funny - because it was Lady Gaga's waistcoat. So I sat down like I was being interviewed and someone asked me a question and in her voice I said 'it's so boring' perfectly and everyone roared with laughter. I put the waistcoat back and sat in the back corner of the room with David to my left.
I looked on the stage and realised Marcus John from primary school had grown up to have a long pony tail and play drums. (I saw him in Tesco this week). The band he was in was very weird. The keyboard would play random sounds, then cut to the drums and Marcus would make huge arm motions but only hit the drums a tiny bit so that it was really quiet. I turned to David and copied Marcus' drumming motions and he agreed it was weird.
Then Jonathan Ross walked onto the stage where the Drums band now stood. There seemed to be added members to the Drums. Jonny and another guy were wearing his trademark red shiny jacket, as well as David beside me. The band were about to start performing when all of a sudden I was at a theme park...
The School Trip and the Queen
I was in somewhere like Germany on a school trip and we were allowed to roam the city for a while. We had previously seen the Queen at an event in the city.
I needed to use the toilet so I walked into a Tesco and Abdul and Kerry from work were there and said I was working today. I checked the book and I started at 3. It was already nearly 4 and they hadn't said anything so I went back outside to find a toilet somewhere. There was one to the left of the entrance, it was really small.
Then I thought I would wander back around the city and start work at 4. I found myself walking up a field a bit lost and then I could see a man waiting at a gate to ask me what I was doing. Behind him I could see the Queen who had finished her duties for the day stood in her turqoise jacket talking to her staff with a lot of flowers in her hands, as if she was actually about to load them in her car and take them all home.
I explained to the man I was lost and he began walking with me to help me get back to the city. Behind us the Queen and a friend of hers walked and a girl went up to the Queen like she was a singer and started asking her questions.
I needed to use the toilet so I walked into a Tesco and Abdul and Kerry from work were there and said I was working today. I checked the book and I started at 3. It was already nearly 4 and they hadn't said anything so I went back outside to find a toilet somewhere. There was one to the left of the entrance, it was really small.
Then I thought I would wander back around the city and start work at 4. I found myself walking up a field a bit lost and then I could see a man waiting at a gate to ask me what I was doing. Behind him I could see the Queen who had finished her duties for the day stood in her turqoise jacket talking to her staff with a lot of flowers in her hands, as if she was actually about to load them in her car and take them all home.
I explained to the man I was lost and he began walking with me to help me get back to the city. Behind us the Queen and a friend of hers walked and a girl went up to the Queen like she was a singer and started asking her questions.
13.6.12
Poncho
Somebody was handing out little waterproof poncho packages. I took one, unfolded it and put it on.
7.6.12
Equality Street
I think I was reading the newspaper at my grandparents' house when I read that there was a hateful homophobic lady who would be leading an anti-gay protest in the park around the corner. I had to go. There was a fair amount of people there and it was growing. I went around trying to get a feel for what the crowd stood for and it seemed to me that the lady was on her own in her hateful views.
The park was getting busy and loud. I shouted "ok if we're going to have this debate let's try to have some order, let us stand with those who are on our side" and nobody moved. Only the lady was the other side of the basketball court. I went to go and speak to her.
As I walked over I could see the whole Tesco staff in their uniforms had come and were filling a watch tower to make sure there was no trouble. I looked back down to the basketball court and was walking towards the lady when I saw a young teenager walking away from her. I asked her if it was her son and it was. I asked her how she would feel if her son was gay. How could she fight for her son to have less rights than everybody else? She didn't say another word. The event seemed to be over.
I walked around and found out that people had read about the protest and driven hours to be there. The overwhelming support for the gay community had helped change the way the lady thought about those who were different to her.
The park was getting busy and loud. I shouted "ok if we're going to have this debate let's try to have some order, let us stand with those who are on our side" and nobody moved. Only the lady was the other side of the basketball court. I went to go and speak to her.
As I walked over I could see the whole Tesco staff in their uniforms had come and were filling a watch tower to make sure there was no trouble. I looked back down to the basketball court and was walking towards the lady when I saw a young teenager walking away from her. I asked her if it was her son and it was. I asked her how she would feel if her son was gay. How could she fight for her son to have less rights than everybody else? She didn't say another word. The event seemed to be over.
I walked around and found out that people had read about the protest and driven hours to be there. The overwhelming support for the gay community had helped change the way the lady thought about those who were different to her.
1.6.12
Jubilee Dance
I was in Nottingham on the day the Queen would pass through celebrating her Diamond Jubilee. When she passed by the theatre/tramlines I was rushing down to the Market Square but then the Queen's car came along and I had to freeze on the spot. I was really wobbling because I had my feet/legs really twisted, I was worried that she would see me losing my balance. Then when the car had gone past I rushed down to the Market Square.
I wanted some flowers or something in my hand in case she came near me and I could be on of those people who give her flowers. Kids had flowers and someone even had what looked like a tree branch. I was trying to sneak into a small line of people who were going to give her something when I noticed I was accidentally involved in a dance for the queen with about 10 schoolchildren. We were dancing around in a synchronised swimming style dance and I was hoping it wasn't obvious I was not a part of it. I knew it would be on tv to all my friends and I was trying to make sure nobody would notice I was not a school child and didn't know the dance.
I wanted some flowers or something in my hand in case she came near me and I could be on of those people who give her flowers. Kids had flowers and someone even had what looked like a tree branch. I was trying to sneak into a small line of people who were going to give her something when I noticed I was accidentally involved in a dance for the queen with about 10 schoolchildren. We were dancing around in a synchronised swimming style dance and I was hoping it wasn't obvious I was not a part of it. I knew it would be on tv to all my friends and I was trying to make sure nobody would notice I was not a school child and didn't know the dance.
Phone/Crayfish
I was talking to Jonny at work and then suddenly I was being picked up by my Dad in Staples Car Park in High Wycombe. I was carrying a load of cardboard and when I sat down in the passenger seat I reached for my phone on the cardboard but when I looked down I had a crayfish in my hand.
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